book-notes

Adversaries into Allies: Win People Over Without Manipulation or Coercion

by Bob Burg

Section 1: The Five Principles of Ultimate Influence

Chapter 1: The Five Principles

Chapter 2: It’s (Much) More Than Just About Being Nice

Chapter 3: Persuasion Versus Manipulation

Section 2: Control Your Own Emotions

Chapter 4: Responding Versus Reacting

Chapter 5: Effectively Handle Verbal Attacks

Chapter 6: Make Calm Your Default Setting

Chapter 7: Overcome Your Anger

Chapter 8: The Persuasive Power of Positive Detachment

Chapter 9: Think Before You Speak

Chapter 10: Agree to Disagree

Chapter 11: Consider the Source

Section 3: Understand the Clash of Belief Systems

Chapter 12: Belief Systems – the Problem and the Solution

Chapter 13: “How Would You Define…?”

Chapter 14: Accept the Responsibility for Communication

Chapter 15: The Importance of Conscious Awareness

Chapter 16: Persona or Not? How Do You Know?

Chapter 17: Love Languages From Liberty the Cat

Chapter 18: First, Know the Issue. Then, Choose the Words

Chapter 19: The Answer? Based on What Information?

Chapter 20: Perceptual Realities Equal Different Conclusions

Section 4: Acknowledge Their Ego

Chapter 22: Don’t Shame or Embarrass

Chapter 23: Be a Judge, Not a Lawyer

Chapter 24: The Principle of Agreement

Chapter 25: Ego Repair

Chapter 26: The Power of Handwritten Notes

Chapter 27: Education – A Powerful Key to Influence

Chapter 28: Do You Look For Disagreement?

Chapter 29: Compliment the Uncomplimented

Chapter 30: Caught In the Act… Of Doing Something Right

Chapter 31: “I Appreciate Ya”

Section 5: Setting the Frame

Chapter 32: Positive Expectation Works, But Not Why You Think It Does

Chapter 33: Framing Your Influence in Your First Conversation

Chapter 34: Sometimes, It’s Good to Let ‘Em See You Sweat

Chapter 35: The Ransburger Pivot

Chapter 36: The Value of the Correct Phrase

Chapter 37: “What Can I Do to Help?”

Chapter 38: Win By Making the Other’s Case First

Chapter 39: Help Them to Live In the Solution

Chapter 40: Avoid Negative Framing

Chapter 41: Don’t Fall Victim to Either/Or

Chapter 42: Persuasion Secrets of a Ten-Year-Old

Chapter 43: Change Your Frame, Change Your Life

Section 6: Communicate with Tact and Empathy

Chapter 44: Tact, the Language of Strength

Chapter 45: The Beauty of Empathy

Chapter 46: Lead-in Phrases Lead the Way

Chapter 47: Deflection Via the Parry

Chapter 48: Kind Words Regarding Your Competitors

Chapter 49: Tact Does Not Equal Compromise

Chapter 50: Give Them a Back Door

Chapter 51: How to Say No Graciously and Effectively

Chapter 52: Don’t Tread on Me

Chapter 53: Turning Down an Offer, While Leaving Room for Another

Chapter 54: Dealing With an Interrupter

Chapter 55: The Ben Franklin Method for Winning People Over

Chapter 56: Dr. Franklin and Another Great Lesson in Communication

Chapter 57: Timing Rules!

Chapter 58: Making People Comfortable With You

Chapter 59: Collecting Money Owed You In a Winning Way

Chapter 60: The Pleasure of “My Pleasure”

Chapter 61: Deliver the Right Message for Your Audience

Chapter 62: Seeking Forgiveness

Chapter 63: “Acknoweldge Me!”

Chapter 64: Just Listen

Chapter 65: Remember to Scratch the Hogs

Chapter 66: The Pre-Apology Approach

Chapter 67: Influencing in Style: A Reader Success Story

Section 7: The Character of Ultimate Influencers

Chapter 68: Stand Firm on Principle

Chapter 70: Focus on Your Strengths but Don’t Ignore Your Weaknesses

Chapter 71: Ignore Problems at Your Peril

Chapter 72: Why Top Influencers Build Strong Teams

Chapter 73: Consistency: A Prime Ingredient of Trust

Chapter 74: Growing from Your Mistakes

Chapter 75: Self-Correction: When Your Replay Shows You Fumbled

Chapter 76: Want to Be an Ultimate Influencer? Say Little and Do Much